I know it seems silly, ridiculous

I know it seems silly! And ridiculous to some that is should still believe in the love of someone who threw me away and who has tried to erase me from existence.
Some who wil say i must be insane or this is the definition of insanity or denial or all kinds of other negative pessimistic statements saying i am unrealistic, not being real etc etc believing in the love of a man who after 20 years threw me away with such force.
But i do.
With a passion and a faith and a certainty deeper then almost even my certainly that my son love me that god loves me that family and mom and sister and father loved me.
I knew his love to be far greater then theirs and i simply cannot believe that he or any other human being is humanely .ca of stopping a live like that from ceasing just because they wish it too.
I believe he cares for me and loves me and understands me and wants my happiness even more then they do BUT i also believe that he is afraid.
Afraid of a fear of a diagnosis that he cannot understand
Fear of not knowing how to help me.
Fear of feeling out of control.
Fear of hurting me.
Fear of me hurting him and no getting him be in control
Fear of me not respecting and cooperating with him.
He longs to be with me and his family but he is too afraid.
He needs to have faith in his love and all will be better.
I will live out my remaining years having faith in my love for both him and my son and try to do everything in my power to create a world where scott e pollack will feel safe to share all of his life with us.